how.

How am I supposed to do it. How am I supposed to do the little things in life. Like breathe in and out as I lie on my bed staring at the white ceiling fan go round and round. Or even smile when someone says something nice to me without forcing it. Or believe I'm worth loving. How are these things supposed to work, supposed to feel, supposed to grow, supposed to break and bend and... how am I supposed to know how to do it all. Like live. Why do I have such a hard time with the simple things in life? How am I supposed to survive or even want to, for that matter.