Hello November.

Quick slice of an earlier e-mail to Leslie that summarizes how I've been feeling:
I'm feeling great, pretty, confident, strong, like I almost know myself completely. Yes I love being a vegetarian who isn't obsessed with working out (weigh 138 as opposed to 153 at the doctor two weeks ago), who doesn't need or want to be a runner, who likes smoking and chopping her hair short and dying it odd colors and getting spontaneous but well planned tattoos that symbolize me. So yeah in short I'm great.
A little more detail:
I'm happy for my family despite the divorce. Sam and Mom are moving this Friday and Dad and Steven and Stephanie (Steven's girl friend not girlfriend) and I are going to Disneyland for the weekend. It'll be cheap and quick, like a date with a girl from Queen Creek, but I'm looking forward to memories we'll bring back with us. We'll be coming back to a new life and an empty house that needs a reboot, just like all of us.
My mom is growing as a person and trying to look and think outside of the box she's been in all these years. She thought my wrist tattoo devoted to the family was touching and said she thought it was really special. She even stopped to watch Steven do the one on my hip last night and she smoothed my forehead in a motherly way. I'd forgotten about the little things that make up being a mother.
My dad is also growing as a person into someone who's more confident in himself. He's still got a long way to go and there are times when I know I could be there for him more. But I'm proud of him, he's trying despite the heavy heart I know he carries around in his pocket.
I'm proud to have Leslie love me as much as she does. I don't know what I'd do without her.
Steven has always been one of my closest friends, but not he's one of my best. How lucky am I that I can say that about so many of my family members? That's surprisingly rare.
Sam is doing all right. At least that's how he acts. I don't know what goes on in his head.
And Koren. What would I do without her? Even though I'm without her? Her texts have been known to boost my day like a straight I.V. of Mountain Dew (diet, mind you).
I love myself. I love my car. I love my dog. I love my hair. I love that I'm balanced and don't care that it comes from something outside myself. I love my job. I love my friends. I love being able to spoil myself with a new phone, new body, new tattoos, new boys, just "the new". It takes me outside myself, grows me more as a person on the inside as I work on developing and restructuring the outside to fit how I feel. 3 tattoos is enough, for now. But I'm saving the best for last.